a dust's life

wata freakin' day this is?! losers.....

2006-02-24T13:08:00.000+08:00

have you heard?

state of national emergency?
state of (?) what?!

damn, i know so little of what (the f**k) was going on with my country. (did i hear the activist yelling at me for being ignorant or lack of love for the country?)

well, i have reasons. but it's for me na lang, ok?!

what will happen to our forex?!?!? shet...

i really don't know who's to blame for all of what is occuring today in the Philippines, (Manila, Quezon City, Makati, San Juan, Mandaluyong). baka ako? baka ikaw? baka tayong lahat? di ko 'lam.

it's really hard to be a Pinoy (Pinay). with the economic crises plus the political instability with a bonus of crab mentality, it's hard to hold your head up high (thanks stonefree!).

pero actually, bitter lang ako ngayon kasi para akong "others" dito eh....

so pano kaya? wait ko na lang ang most-awaited-call-ever ng aking most-sought-after-company?

ahahaha!!!!

loser. im am a loser.

2006-02-18T14:09:00.000+08:00

No Fairmit. No Rally.

SISFIRE 4.
rebuild lives. rebuild the nation.
bamboo * hale * cueshe * spongecola * kitchie nadal * barbie almalbis * cheese * sugarfree
* 6 cycle mind * dicta license * pupil * kjwan * mojofly * calialily * milk N'money * protein shake * blue ketchup * the brew * lady bedspacer * blazing bulalakaw * and others....
UP Sigma Beta Sorority and UP Gawad Kalinga
02.16.2006

i was with my mom and my niece jeffrey.
ang saya saya, kasi ininjoy namin yung mga booths dun, unlike dati.
sumakay kami ng octopus, infairness trias pa rin ang octopus.
then we bought mentos to get a blue mentos shaker, which we really dont know what to do about.
then we checked out jack and jill booth.
they were selling, of course, jack and jill stuffs. if you buy 30php worth of their product,
they'll take your pix, together with your barkada, which in my case, with my mom and niece.
hehe =) ang babaw, pero cute naman di ba?
tas ang galing kasi, nakalapit talaga ako sa malapit sa stage, as in dun na sa may bakal.
sayang nga eh, kasi kala ko mahahawakan ko na si bamboo!!! pero cute nga yung
aira (?) cruz (?) as in.
tas walang masyadong tulakan. puro girls kasi halos.
pwera na lang yung pasaway na band na pinagmumura ba naman yung UP!!! shet sya.

Schizofairnia
ERASERFEST
pupil * francis m and the hardware syndrome * hale * imago * spongecola * 6 cycle mind * session road * kamikaze * chicosci * stonefree * dicta license * paolo santos * wuds * datu's tribe * and many more....
UP EMC^2 Fraternity and UP Circle of Entrepreneuers
02.17.2006

damn!
after 6 years of going to the UPFair, my dream finally came true!
eli buendia, now lead singer of Pupil, sang Alapaap!!!
grabe, ang korni pero, parang naiiyak ako.
wala lang, nanghihinayang lang na such a great band is now gone.
pero at least, they were able to inspire a new generation of pinoy bands, which is good for the country, economic-wise and culture-wise.
nakakaiyak na, after all they've gone through, mauwi lang sa ganyan ang friendship nila, na i'm sure strong naman, kasi they've worked for a long while with their bandmates.
hay...

ang galing, all the bands that performed did a part of eraserheads' songs.
i like talaga yung sa 6 cycle mind version ng alapaap.
6 cycle mind sang only 2 songs!!!
grabe, bad trip, pero keri lang kasi nakita ko na sila nung thursday.

if i say "UPFair rocks!", it'll be an understatement!
it's beyond words, you've got to be there, jumping, slamming with the crowd (kahit may mga kids na parang mga addict), singing your hearts out with your favorite bands (and lots of them are present kagabi mind you, and also last thursday, bamboo was there!) .
it's the over-all experience, the totality of it.

i just love UPFair.
that's another understatement.

to galera or not to galera

2006-02-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

nagtatalo sa aking matinong kaisipan kung gusto kong sumama sa galera. kasi naman, ang barat barat ko noh?! ni hindi nga ako makabili ng sarili kong cellphone eh, mag-galera pa kaya?!! haler!

pero kahit sana once man lang, gumastos ako ng para sa sarili ko,.... di ba? hmmm...
kaya lang feeling ko, pag-uwi ko. hindi mo na maipipinta mukha ko sa kaka-compute gaano kalaki nagastos ko, hehe =) pramis, ganon kasi ako... magaling mag-accounting, frustration ko kasi yun eh... cost accounting ba tawag dun?

pero wait, going back, what if hindi naman ako sumama, e di na-miss ko oppurtunity na makasama mga friendships ko? hmmm.... madami naman sigurong pictures, mabubuhay naman siguro ako nun di ba? hmmmm....

what if hindi sila matuloy, tapos gusto ko namang pumunta? punta kaya akong mag-isa? magmumukha naman akong tanga nun di ba? hmmm...

ano ba yan?! anong klaseng problema naman ang meron ako?

hmmm... bukas meeting nanaman nmin, pakshet.... mamatay nanaman ako sa mga bagong document na irerequire sakin.... sakalin ko na lang kaya sila? pero alam ko mas malala situation ng accounting eh... pero sabi nga nila, "...do not compare yourself with others, for you may become vain and bitter..." in fairness yun na lang naaalala ko. madami pa akong gagawin, pero wala ako sa mood mag-work, sakit kasi paa ko. kasi naman, kanina pa ako lakad ng lakad.

ano na nga ba mga dapat kong gawin (kunwari nagwowork pako....)
1. line yield form
2. modify quality audit procedure
3. incoming acceptance rate
4. inprocess qualit performance
5. outgoing quality performance
6. customer complaint

hehehehehe =)

pagnakawala ka pala sa kural....

2006-01-28T13:50:00.000+08:00

wahahahaha!!!! =)
ang saya ng buhay ko, iamgine not having to update your blog for more than 2 months, hehe =)
ang dami lang talagang ginagawa.
undergoing a real training.
i wonder how my friends in my old company are doing...
ay yeah, i saw them nga pala last december.
but i haven't heard from them since then.
sa dami ng dapat isulat, hindi ko tuloy malaman anong uunahin ko....
well, life now is great, so far... =)
i was tasked to handle a rather challenging job that will definitely affect my company.
i met new friends, family and even new guys! ay guy lang pala, kasi taga-kabilang bakod yun, sa kabilang company. nakasabay ko lang sa sasakyan, hehe =)
i have already set my career goals, i think i am still on time.
no need to hurry, i am having the time of life.
i am in the middle of action.
finally i am being treated well. hehe =)
weird lang, parang nawalan ako ng social life. ano ba naman ito....
hindi na ako nakaka-gimmick sa gabi, hindi na ako nakaka-gimmick every week, hindi na rin ako nakakanuod ng sine.
not that i can't afford it, i just don't have the time and the energy and the interest.
i am more concerned to apply what i have learned, from school and from my former employer.
i think i have grown more matured.
leaving my former job is one of the best thing that happened to me, i just didn't realize it then.
now i thank God it happened.
akala ko kasi nun katapusan na ng mundo.
actually my life started to roll when bee and i went to baguio.
parang climax, hehe =)
i guess this is what "... live happily everafter..." is all about. hehe =)
sakit ngayon ng ulo ko, pati ng mata ko.
pero i feel good inside.
i think it's what most people easily took for granted....

it's been a great month, really.

2005-10-27T18:42:00.000+08:00

hehe =)

excited na ako!

kaya lang, what really is so damn hard to do is saying goodbye to all the people who have been part of my growing up. sa sobrang dami ng operators na love ko, di ko malaman pano magbaba-bye sa kanila. nakakatouch malaman na they wanted me to stay. hehe =) kung alam lang nila...

sobrang productive ng huling buwan ko dito. para bang learnings about life, about work, nacompress into one month. marami akong masasaya, malulungkot, nakakapanindig balahibo, nakakapangngitngit, nakakahighblood na mga experience.

dito ako unang nakaexperience ng total failure. nang unang feeling na, "ginawa ko na ang lahat, pero wala pa ring nangyari...!" dito ko naranasang walang maka-appreciate ng ginawa ko. dito ko rin naexperience yung ma-out-of-place sa mga tao. dito ko rin naranasang maligaw, yung hindi mo alam san ka ba talaga lulugar. dito rin yung unang nagparamdam sakin na wala akong powers [for whatever that means]. dito rin yung pinaghirapan ko itanim, iba yung mag-aani. dito rin yung nakapagbaba ng self-esteem ko. yung halos wala na akong matirang amor sa sarili ko. halos makalimutan ko na ngang may silbi ako eh.

at sa lahat ng ka-bitter-an ko, nahihirapan pa rin akong umalis. kasi, mahal na mahal ko yung ibang tao dito. seryoso. kung di ko lang naimagine dati na ganito katindi yung epekto ng pag-alis ko, sana nung march pa lang, wala na ako. it's the people, some people that made me stay longer. kung sino-sino sila. basta. i think they already know who they were. palagi ko naman yun sinasabi sa kanila eh.

madami pang dapat tapusin. nakakahiya sa beloved boss ko. posibleng last entry ko na ito dito sa PC na ito, kaya astig tong entry na to sa blog history ko, hehe =)

um, kelan kaya yung next entry ko dito?

>>> <<<

2005-10-19T09:43:00.000+08:00

people. it will always be the people around me that will make me stay wherever i am. the joys they bring, the sadness, their influences, the stuffs we all shared, very hard to leave behind. i think i am one of those people who would rather burn bridges than forever be reminded of the good stuffs [and of course the bad stuffs]. it is my way of coping up. of moving on. more fun means more attachments. i would rather forget them all.

but my friends at work, actually two of them, right now, are making it harder for me leave. they are trying to change my opinion about burning bridges ekek. hay... just one hug from one of my dearest friends made tears fall from eyes. God how i love to spend more time with them! i would give anything just to spend even one last Christmas with these people [even if it also means more time to spend with some people i really hate]. i could feel their sincerety and their efforts to make me feel wanted. it's getting harder and harder to leave. please, anyone, make it easier for me to move on...

nang dahil sa 30PhP

2005-10-12T19:27:00.000+08:00

sherks im so stuck here sa glorietta!!!

kailangan ko kasi withdraw. eh dahil sa kahsayan ko, binigay ko nga pala yung atm card ko kay mamita, ayan, i need to go online to transfer funds from my other account. hassle!!!

at dahil minimum dito ay 30mins, meaning 30PhP na bayad kahit umalis ka pa ng mas maaga, eto nisusulit ko =(

nanlibre si sir mike kanina ng stuff crust pizza. hay nako, may yucks yung pizza. pero syampre wag ng maginarte di ba?! ikaw na nga nilibre, aangal ka pa! syempers di ako ganon kaarte noh?!

hay...

horny lizard? i thought i'm a dragon!

2005-10-11T13:47:00.000+08:00

and i never thought i could score this high! haha!

droz, daddy? beat me! haha!

Third, Fourth and Fifth Days

2005-10-07T13:03:00.000+08:00

FIFTH DAY: The Not-So-Productive Day

Well, after lunch na and I was just successful enough to find discrepancies in the FI transaction of CW jars. Sus. I really need learn a lot in a very short period of time. Goodluck saken.

Anyway, I did my entries for the third and fourth days. This will be the third time that I am going to write about the third day and the second time for the fourth day. Naaasar na ako.

Fourth Day: The Raptor in Me

Scheduled team meeting of Project suKat. Waah! Umulan ng mga letters. Grabe. In fairness, wala halos na settle. Kasi naman, ang tagal nilang pinagtalunan yung formula ng production volume. Hay nako….

I had a very heartwarming talk with my officemate. He gave me advice that I so desperately needed. Sa sobrang lalim ng pinag-uusapan namen, hindi ko napansing RAPTOR na ako! Hehe =)

Third Day: Second Day without You

First day na wala na yung super wet market sa Boni.

Pretty productive day in the afternoon. We’ve decreased variance cost by as much as 2M PhP! Yeah. Pero hindi ata natuwa si boss…

First day din na 25PhP na yung pamasahe sa FX sa baba ng MRT. Asar...

Second Day: First Day Without You

2005-10-05T08:52:00.000+08:00

One of the productive [and I really mean productive ok? Marami akong output na work related ok?!] days of my worklife. But I think I spent 90% of my time in front of the PC. Pagdating ng uwian, sabi ni Jason [our ex-HR-OJT-turned-casual-employee], mukha na daw akong wasted! **crap** Sino naman kayang hindi ma-wasted kung ilang oras akong glued sa monitor ko, katititig sa mga graphs ko at pagmuni-munihan ang ibig ipahiwatig ng mga iyon. Ang sakit talaga sa mata, in fairness.

Tas nalulungkot pa ako. Kasi, wala boss ko. Nako, marinig ko lang boses nun, ok na ako. Inspired na ako magtrabaho. Since wala sya, parang napaka-dragging ng araw ko. Ewan ko ba bat ganun. I guess nobody can understand how I lookup to my boss... *!#$&*

Ang swerte ko kagabi. Bukod sa hindi natuloy yung paggawa namen ng thesis ni Jovie [dahil 'nagawan na ng paraan' ng classmate nya], nakaligtas kami ng mga fellow passengers ko sa accident kagabi. Kasi, while traversing the Mindanao Avenue kagabi, there was this delivery truck of RC Cola. Pag-U-turn nya, masyado sya atang mabilis and mali yung arc ng pag-U-turn nya, natabingi yung truck nya. Thank God, wala syang katabing other vehicles, kundi siguradong nahulugan sila ng mga bottles! And buti nal ang, mejo malapit na kami sa truck na yun, kasi traffic started to pile up na after that truck's accident.

Generally, the day was good. Pero I really missed my boss. Sana bumalik na sya.

The First Day of My Last Month

2005-10-03T09:24:00.000+08:00

Started out pretty weird.

Una, pagsakay ko pa lang ng FX, wala akong barya. As in buo talaga kaperahan ko. Asar. Syempre, mula ng iabot ko yung bayad ko, nagsimula na yun driver na dakdakan ako ng walang tigil. Kesyo daw, abala, sayang sa gas, ang haba-haba daw ng weekend bakit di ko hinana=da pamasahe ko etc. E kaso, sobrang ngarag ata ako, hindi ako makarelate sa galit nya. Inaantay ko ngang sabihing bumaba ako eh, kaso hindi nya ginawa. So I stayed in his taxi, hehe =) In the end, pinagbayad nya lang ako ng kahit na magkanong barya meron ako. Unfortunately for him, I only have around 6pesos in my purse, haha. Tas yung old lady sa harap ko, balak ba namang makisali sa pagna-nag sakin nung driver, kesyo daw tanghali na. Tinitigan ko nga sa mata, sabay sabi, 'wala namang may gustong makapang-abala sa ibang tao eh'. Hala, natakot ata sakin ang lola mo, at hindi na ulet nagsalita at tumingin sakin. Haha.

Pagdating kong MRT, well, unexpectedly, sobrang madameng tao na. Well, I guess kase Monday morning. Pero sa dami ng tao dun, nakakatawa, nakita ko si Walter, classmate ko nung college. Naalala ko, sabi nga pala nya, meron daw syang interview sa Interphil. Wawa naman, nibigay ko na yung MRT card ko sa kanay para hindi na sya pumila at ma-late sa interview nya, Laguna pa kase byahe nya eh. Hindi naman kame masyado nakapag-usap kase sobrang siksikan sa train.

Pagdating ko dito, excited na akong mag-lunch out with TP, dadating daw kase sya to get his separation pay. Pero hindi natuloy, kase, wala pa pala yung sep pay nya. Wawa naman si TP. Pero nakapaglunchout pa rin kame, PAncake House. Grabe, the best talaga yung gravy nila!!! Damn!

Ayun... Tas busy-busyhan ako whole day. Pero nakauwi ako ng maaga. Sumabay ako kay Mards, hatid nya akong SMBic.

[Naku, third time ko ng ginawa itong post na ito ha! Kailangan, mai-post na talaga ito!]

Wait or Go - by: 6 Cycle Mind

2005-09-30T17:22:00.000+08:00

I've been hopeless
Waiting here in my door

From the top of my head
Down to this narrow floor

I've been so awake
I've been so afraid
To know... To know...

* Tell me what to do,
I don't know why I'm hopeless
In this show
Tell me it doesn't hurt,
If I'll find out
That I'm alone

Coz I've been waiting for so long
Do I need to wait here or go

Wait or go... Wait or go...

Coz I've been waiting for so long
Do I need to wait here or go

* Tell me what to do,
I don't know why I'm hopeless
In this show
Tell me it doesn't hurt,
If I'll find out
That I'm alone
Repeat 2x

* Tell me what to do,
I don't know why I'm hopeless
Repeat 3x

Wait or go... Wait or go...
Repeat 3x

---------------------------------------------
But i really dont want to go
If only you would ask me to stay
I'll stay forever beside yu

Someday

2005-09-30T17:14:00.000+08:00

I sincerely hope that I'll be able to sing this song with all my heart.

"...All by myself
I know that I stand here alone
All your lies they feed me
I'm stronger now
Stronger now than I was before
There's no way you can
Hurt me
Move me
Stop me..."

A Ten-Wheeler Truck, Three Sachets of Maxwell House Coffee in a Not-So-Large Mug and Being so Productive

2005-09-29T09:16:00.000+08:00

Last night, despite the not-so-good throat and a terrible bodyache, I still managed to write down my activities for today. I even managed to do the budget for my 30th paycheck [which I got today, haha]. Everything set, I went to sleep.

Every detail I planned for this morning went smoothly until we came to South Luzon Expressway. Never before experienced such heavy traffic in an expressway. Thank God I am with Sir Karl and officemates, and we chat the traffic-blues away. Actually, I just slept through the most part of the travel. We were all late, 8:50AM, I guess.

And since my planned activity should have started around 8:15AM and we were late, I lost my will to stick to my plans... I did my usual morning coffee habit, but this time, I used a not-so-large generic mug. I fill it up the around 90% of the height and I used 2 sachets of maxwell 3-in-1 coffee. But I can't get the coffee taste I am looking for. It tastes so diluted, lacks coffee strength, pathetic aroma. So even if I didn't really want to, I got another sachet and finally got the expected taste. So now, here I am, being "less than fair" to my company. Actually, Eijude just called me up. I guess we had a 30minute chat. Pretty productive start of the day, isn't it?

Damn, I missed my boss. Haven't talked him since yesterday. He's at the Six Sigma training. I'm sure he's sleeping again, haha... What I love about my boss? Well, he is so fun to talk to. I just get so inspired, so enthusiastic to work after we have a little chat... When I saw him yesterday after work hours, he looked so wasted, looking so old for his age. Wawa naman boss ko... hay...

pretty bad day part2...

2005-09-27T18:02:00.000+08:00

ewan ko ba kung anong problema ko ngayon...

nalulungkot lang talaga ako...

puro doubts... walang assurances... puro gray... wala man lang kahit black... puro assumptions, walang concrete na plano... para bang nagpapakahirap ka, pero wala din naman na palang mangyayaring maganda sa buhay ko... ewan ko ba...

di ko alam kung gusto kong sabihin na lang ng diretsahan or i'll just wait for my own ... death??? huh?!?!? what death?!?! ang OA ko ha... haha

napaparanoid na lang ata ako eh... baka nababaliw na ako... siguruuu... bukas, bukas...

pretty bad day...

2005-09-27T12:39:00.000+08:00

well, mababaw, pero, kasi, for the nth time na napagalitan ako ng boss ko.

ang sad ko lang talaga. magalit na buong company sakin, wag lang sya.

tas kanina sa canteen di nya ko binati.

galit talaga sya...

ang stupid ko kasi, ewan ko ba, ang hilig ko mangontra.

naiinis na sya sakin!!! anong gagawin ko?! nalulungkot talaga ako...

UNLEASH YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL IN LIFE

2005-09-26T13:38:00.000+08:00

It was kinda sad that Unleash is already over... Gone were the Saturdays na we have to go to Ortigas with our assignments halfway done, which will be hurriedly finished either in Jollibee [if you arrive early] or in the training venue na, kasi ala ng time. haha

It was really fun to see their faces, my colleagues, most of them in their late 20's and early 30's, cramming their homework, memorizing their "I Am"s. The Friday before the training, participants of that day will ask fellow participants, "... tapos mo na ba yung homework mo?..." nakakatuwa to see them that way. And I am sure, they have gained so much from it. Kasi kaming mejo bata pa, hindi naman sa pang-aasar sa kanila, mejo idealistic pa ang view namin about life. I think most of them will agree, marami sa mga naturo sa Unleash, alam naman nila dati, pero hindi na ngayon. It's either, they opted to forget about or they just happened to forget all about it because of their hectic lifestyle. Ewan ko.

I really love the trainers, I can feel their sincerity, their faith in what they are teaching us, kasi naranasan nila. In-apply nila talaga sa buhay nila. Yung topic kagabi sa Homily sa simbahan, bakit daw wala ng naniniwala sa mga mga teachers, sa mga leaders sa government. Kasi daw, hindi nakikita ng mga tao na ina-apply ng mga leaders nila yung sinasabi nila. So I think, kaya sobrang sincere ng mga trainers ng Unleash. Kasi, based from experience ang mga examples nila. It's not easy to say sa ibang tao na "... pretender ako dati..." na I used to live above my means. Pero they were able to change their lives. So ibig sabihin, kaya din naming gawin ang ginawa nila sa buhay nila.

Edutainment concept, I think, also played a big role to help us better grasp the concepts they were teaching [although, napaka-logical, napaka-obvious na ng tinuturo nila]. Yung iba nga dun, ina-apply ko na talaga, although recently pa lang naman. Pero minsan kasi, kailangan mo lang ipasampal sa mukha mo na mali ka, na tama ka. To strengthen your resolve to do it [whatever it is]. Ang galing talaga.

And sobrang kinarir nila ang "More than Fair" concept. Grabe yung food, ang dami! As in madami! And take note, sobrang masarap! Nakalimutan ko nga agad yung diet ko eh! [as if meron] haha! Lahat masarap. Gusto ko ngang iuwi yung cook nila eh. Sabi ko dun sa girl na nag-aasikaso nung food, "Bibitayin na po ba kami? Bat ang dami nakahain?" Kasi ang OA talaga sa dami at sarap.

And the team concept, D' LEGENDS, Funtastix and Synergy, haha ang saya! It added fun to the training atmosphere. Kasi everyone is doing everything to win. Game yung most of the participants to show their talents [if talent man yun] for their respective teams. Nakakahiya talaga yung ginawa kong sayaw! Yucks! Di ko na uulitin yun noh! haha! And the best part is, kami ang....

CHAMPION!!!!

D' LEGENDS ANG MGA BAGONG FILIPINO!!!

Ang laki ng lamang namin! At ang daming price. More than fair talaga. Sa dami, nahihiya na akong tanggapin pa.

I believe naman, walang umuwing masama ang loob or something. What we have gained fro mthe training is definitely more than enough to make everyone smile their hearts out. It was such an experience and I thank our HR manager for pushing that training. Ang galing talaga. I think every Filipino, especially those who have lost hope for the country, must be Unleashed! Just imagine if every Pinoy is Unleashed, nothing can stop this country from developing into a very powerful nation. If only Pinoys know how to have faith in their abilities, set aside their colonial and crab mentality, and believe that kaya ng Pilipinas, susulong talaga tayo.

Salamat sa Unleash. Keep up the good work. Our country needs you.

is she or is she not?

2005-09-21T17:13:00.000+08:00

i think she's making pakialam my folders sa public drives...

i really don't like her that much...

and maybe she doesn't like me that much either...

thus, balance, we both don't like each other. haha. harmony.

forklift!!!! yeah!!!!!

2005-09-21T17:00:00.000+08:00

today, i learned how to drive the forklift! yeah! haha

muntik ko na nga pabagsakin yung mga raw mats na nasa warehouse eh. di ko lam, baka ma-memo-han ako sa ginawa ko... lagot...

pero it was really fun!!! grabe! nag-enjoy ako sa 15-minute driving lesson ko!!! haha

saTuRday FUn!

2005-09-19T13:53:00.000+08:00

Natulog kami ni Nanay halos buong umaga, pagkakain. As in. Buhay baboy.

Tas ni-text ko si Ruby, nasa MegaMall pala sya with her college buddies. Pero we agreed to meet up sa SM North.

Syempre nimadali ako magligo, tas niyaya ko si Nanay mag-Iceberg, kahit na namamaos na kami! haha

Order kami mais con yelo at cappucino sundae, in fairness, tinitignan ko pa lang yung menu, inuubo na ko! haha

Tas ikot-ikot kami sa department store while waiting for Ruby girl. Nagalit pala si Nanay nung nipalayas ko na sya when I received Ruby's text message na nasa SM na sya. haha

Nag-Bo's coffee club kami, ang sarap ng caramel latte nila! As in! Tas dumating si Kit. Nagpunta din pala parents nya sa SM. haha. Gaya ng inaasahan, late pa rin sya. haha

Tas nalaman namin, album launching ata ng Session Road, 6 Cycle Mind at Milk and Money. [Huling beses kong nakita yung Session Road, sa may Roxas. Kasama ko si Lanie at yung officemate nya. Tas nagkaron ako ng rashes after. Kasi ni-try namin yung GSM Blue with Royal grapes ba yun? And other flavors.] Pero hindi kami nanuod. haha

Nagpunta kami sa Quesci. Kasi homecoming ng Batch 1980. Nakakatuwa silang tignan, at isiping, nung naggraduate sila ng highschool, hindi pa kami nipapanganak, at baka hindi pa nagmi-meet ang mga magulang namin! haha Nagpicture-picture-an kami sa school. Ang ganda na ng soccer field! Ang yung mga punong dating maliit, malaki na ngayon. Hinahanap ni Ruby yung upo na may brief dati sa tapat ng Bio lab. haha. Syempre, wala na. Tas yung damology area namin, wala ng mga tanim. I guess wala na silang ganung subject ngayon.

At ang saya, sumakit ang ipin ko. Kaya nag-aya na kong umuwi.

FRIDAY MORNING ADVENTURE

2005-09-19T13:24:00.000+08:00

It was a very cold Friday morning, 16th of September. Sobrang di ko feel pumasok sa work. But I know need to fix myself fast or I'll be damn late for Sir Karl's service! And so I did manage to get myself to Boni station after a tremendous effort from my brain and from my nanay's nagging voice.

When I got to Boni [Caltex Starmart], nobody's there, but I thought I was just early. So I waited. Then I checked my fone, it was off. Then Vio arrived. One message from sir Karl, telling me he won't be going to work that morning and to also tell Vio that. Then a couple of messages from Meann, telling me the same thing.

We really don't know what to do. I decided to text my boss, asking if we really need to report to work. His reply, "ciempre, meron!". Haha, I shouldn't have asked anyway.

So we decided to take the bus. We were supposed to sit at the back of the bus, but we opted not to. There's this guy, he's all dirty in black shirt. I don't know if it's from the dirt or what, but he exudes negative vibes. We sat near the bus door. It was really fun talking to Vio. She's from Finance and we hardly knew each other.

Moderate traffic at SLEX, but we manage to get to Sucat exit alive. But it was raining hard then. We looked so wasted and so are our outfit and we almost didn't make to the jeep. Grabe talaga. It was the first time Vio and I commuted to work together, and we seemed to have balat sa pwet, haha =)

"be careful who you trust..."

2005-09-13T11:51:00.000+08:00

i got this advise, um, i think a few weeks ago.

sounds more like a joke to me than a well meant advise.

now i believe it more and more...

it's just kinda sad, i easily trust people. a lot.

and she seems not to understand the true meaning of friendship. it goes beyond the fun and laughter. it is more than what the eye can see and deeper than what the mind can comprehend. as limitless as the universe. her lack of respect on informations she knew must be kept between the two of us is causing me so much pain right now. and to give away such petty information as easily as she did proves she's not worth anything.

i hope she finds true friends. sayang sya.

sabi ko na nga ba eh!

2005-09-07T17:08:00.000+08:00

i have no idea what happened before i got into your world.
but you should have known better than mess up your life and allow me to be part of your reality.
you allowed yourself to believe i am the person you wanted me to be.
i guess time proved you wrong.
so don't blame me.
it was you who assumed.
it was you who expected.
so stop making me feel so bad about it.
you want me to feel bad.
you got it.
yu should've just left me alone.
i never did asked for your help anyway.
i didn't say i need you to save me.

"WAFFLE"

2005-09-06T13:59:00.000+08:00

MUSIC: SEVENDUST
Lyrics: LOWERY / Rose / Witherspoon

A Universe to fill
Can't scratch the surface
Now a slow pay
Still why everyone watching
It's like I'm real tired of the clones
I'm real tired of the clones

Whatever you say
Whatever you say
Whatever you say

Bring me a light
Make my life worth something more
Show me a light
Bring me a light
Bring me a light
Make my life worth something more
Show me a light
Bring me a light

Where's the space i fill
Where's the sympathy I KILLED
I need to find a meaning
I'm useless, I'M USELESS
Trapped inside my own web

Whatever you say
Whatever you say
Whatever you say

Bring me a light
Make my life worth something more
Show me a light
Bring me a light
Bring me a light
Make my life worth something more
Show me a light
Bring me a light

When I'm alone
I stare at nothingness
Painful silence
Painful silence kills

Bring me a light
Make my life worth something more
Show me a light
Bring me a light(repeat)
Whatever you say
Whatever you say
Bring me a light
Make my life worth something more
Show me a light
Bring a light

sUrprises!!!! =)

2005-09-05T16:28:00.000+08:00

I thought my weekend will end at home, hehe, pero hinde!

I texted rUby girl if she still can take another cup of coffee at SM North. Well, I just knew her very well. She immediately said, Yes!

Before I reached SM, creepy yung guy na bigla na lang ni-open yung door ng FX. Syempre natakot ako, kasi naman no?! Bigla na lang syang, chi-ching!!! Tas ang tagal-tagal nya pang naka-stare lang samin. Weirdo!

I really had a great chat with her. We talk of the old times, our former classmates, how things are going on, what are our plans... niyahahaha!!!! and of course our crushes!!! hehe =)

But the topic that really got me so inspired [hanggang ngayon] was the business we are trying to come up with. Shocker, excited na ako. Sana maganda kalabasan nun! Yeah!

Also, we agreed to have an out of town every quarter. Since we are not high-earners, we'll have our travel once a quarter. hehe =) feeling tourist! =) anong masama?! pag-iipunan naman namin.

First lakad namin, we are targetting Baguio. So TP, kung nababasa mo ito, makikitira kami sa bahay mo. OK?

Kaninang morning, at the MRT Boni Station, I bumped into an old batchmate. Cesar. In fairness, nagulat ako sa kanya!

Tas, kanina, nakita ko naman si Ms. Bing dito sa office, surprise surprise! =)

I think this has been a great day. Well, as compared before. I think I have been productive [with tregards to the project. But am stil waiting for the comments of my boss.] And I was also able to do extracurricular activities, hehe =)

I just love this additional job. Geeeeezz! Nabuhay dugo ko! Feeling ko, tumatalino ako sa ginagawa ko. Nababalikan ko yung mga panahong confident ako sa abilidad ko. Hmmm.... =)
Salamat kay Dolores.

I know

2005-09-01T14:49:00.000+08:00

i've heard the latest chika. and i think it is somewhat favorable for me, hehe =)

somewhat, coz i feel sad that someone is leaving. but i also feel relieved that it was not him who's leaving.

haha! now i know that if ever he does leave, i will cry a river. an ocean i must say. so TP, just to let you know, he is THAT important to me. and yes, i do love him. but not that kind of love you are thinking about. and i shouldn't explain myself to you, haha! =)

hay..... i feel so much better today! i'm back to my old kraft-self! niyahahahaha!!! =)

Di ko lang alam, Di ko lang alam

2005-08-31T12:38:00.000+08:00

Nagagalit ako. As in nagagalit talaga ako. Hindi ko kasi alam kung totoo ba yung balitang narinig ko o hindi. At hindi naman nakatulong yung tinanungan namin kung totoo nga o hindi. Nakakabwiset lang talaga. Ngayon, nagkaron tuloy ako ng bagong worry....

Oh my God!!!!...... Anong mangyayari sakin ngayon?!?!?!? San ako pupulutin?! Anong gagawin ko?!?!?

Ang sama-sama talaga ng loob ko.... Hindi ko maipaliwanag dito kung bakit ganito nararamdaman ko. Basta ang alam ko lang, napakasama ng pakiramdam ko. Ayoko munang magpagod sa work..... Kasi, baka wala rin namang mangyaring maganda.

Sabi nya dati sakin, "..wag ka ng malungkot, nandito naman ako eh..."
Bat ngayon, mawawala naman na pala sya?!??!?! Iiwan din lang naman nya pala ako eh.
Grabe, salamat sa kanya.

- - - walang title - - -

2005-08-26T17:19:00.000+08:00

ang sakit ng puson ko! grabe, ang hirap maging babae. hindi ako makalakad ng normal. kaya tuloy hindi ako makababa kanina para pumuntang plant controllership kasi ang sagwa talaga ng lakad ko. eh, madami pa dapat akong gagawin kaso, tinamad na ako kasi, ang sakit tlaga ng puson ko!!!! hu! hu! hu! uwi ako maaga. pramis.

2005-08-23T12:56:00.000+08:00

Kagabi dinalaw namin si Sir Bot. Grabe, when I saw him lying there on his bed for dialysis, muntik na akong umiyak. Tas bigla ko naisip boss ko. Grabe, this could happen to him [but I hope it will not!]. I felt a big lump in my throat. Parang hindi ako agad makasalita. Hindi naman kasi kami close ni sir Bot. Pero I have high regards for him. He has been a very very good mentor to my fellow cadets. Kaya kahit pano I feel close to him na rin. Nakiki-close ako. =)

Ang pangit nga ng timing ng pagkakapasok ni sir sa hospital. Not that I blame him, sino ba namang gustong ma-hospitalize noh?! Pero kasi, birthday ng wife nya kahapon. Poor girl... Sa totoo lang, when I saw her, I just knew, she's sir Bot's match. As in parang talagang bagay na bagay sila.

Sana gumaling na si sir Bot. Kasi naman, ginawa atang OIC boss ko. Kawawa naman yun, wasted na wasted na. Hindi na nga kami masyado makapagdiscuss ng projects ko dahil madami syang ginagawa and meetings sa umaga hanggang hapon, tas dinagdagan pa!? Nye! Hay... ayun lang, sana gumaling na si sir Bot. For everyone's good.

??????

2005-08-16T14:10:00.000+08:00

kahapon birthday ko. ok lang, hindi masaya, hindi rin naman malungkot. basta nothing special.

maaga pa lang, bawas na budget ko dahil maaga pa lang nangungutang na ate ko.

tas syempre dahil tinanghali ako ng gising, ang dami ng tao sa MRT!

so ayun, late ako.

tas work. ayos lang. mejo naubos na yung mga critical na mga dapat gawin. ganun naman trabaho ko, hindi critical. haha. ayos lang, under utilize powers ko. pero still, ka-equal lang ng sweldo ng ibang tao. yun nga lang hindi ko masyado ma-take na hindi naman importante yung project ko. nakakabwiset lang. tas sasabihin ng ibang company, over-qualified ako for them. nye?!?! ok. gusto ko lang malipat sa fast-paced na trabaho. i know i can give more. nakakaasar lang na parang ang liit lang ng naco-contribute ko, e hello?!?! hay ang yabang ko.

naaasar na lang talaga ako. hala, demotivated! ka-frustrate na lang talaga.

gusto ko muna magpahinga. nakakapagod na. na parang wala ka talagang silbi. of course i do love my project now, better than what i used to have. i feel this sense of worth in everything that is happening. but it is not critical. there is nothing to be worried about. it's nice to have. but it's definitely ok if there's none. kala ko ba ang daming gagawin dito? bat ayaw nilang bigay sakin? wala silang tiwala? hmmm... ok.

tas kahapon kumain na lang kami ng nanay ko sa chowking. dapat magdessert pa kami, kaso, ang sakit talaga nung pinastahan sakin. kay umuwi na kami. so i spent a few hours of my birthday with my ninong dentist. in fairness, hindi nya pinabayaran.

tas natapos ang gabi ko sa panonood ng attic cat. kaasar, binasted ni noreen si sir dominic. mas gusto ko na yun maging partner nya eh.

tinatamad na ko. nabad trip kasi ako kanina sa eh! hayaan ko na nga. ang sama lang nya. pinasama nya pakiramdam ko. naghahanap lang naman ako ng gagawing malupet. but since wala talaga, hay, eto, anong kabaligtaran ng wasted? nagiging oversensitive na lang ata ako. dahil ba birthday ko kahapon at tumanda nanaman ako ng isang taon? ganon ba yun?

syempre hindi k alam mga ginagawa nila, kasi sa line of work ko, hindi ko yun kailangang malaman pa. at if pag-aaralan ko ba, will they nicely explain what they were doing to me? haha. bahala na yung nakakakita sa kanya. mabuti kasi sya eh.

kakaasar, hindi ata pwedeng istorbohin si sir ngayon. gusto ko pa naman syang kausapin. actually, gusto ko lang marinig boses nya. to give me that sense of fear. para makalimutan ko how unimportant my projects had been. haha. demotivated lang talaga ako. bobo ba ako? e bat ganun? parang kasi napakawalang kwenta nitong ginagawa ko. or hindi ko lang makita yung importance nya talaga? tangengots ba ako? hay, kailangan ko ng ibang iisipin. nasan na ba yung officemate kong bago, ayos kausap yun eh. logical and straight to the point. may sense talaga kausap. si sir din sana eh, parang big kuya kausap. in fairness nung nire-reprimand nya ako dati, feeling ko tatay ko sya eh. haha.

nakakalungkot, wala na si TP. pag demotivated ako, si TP kausap ko. baka nga nagkakahawaan na kami ng demotivation eh. buti pa yun, naka-alis na sa comfort zone nya. para bang "...nothing to fear..." ang dating. ako, hay, undecided pa din if magtuturo, tas masteral ng materials engineering. or chemical engineering. or computer science. gusto ko talaga maggagagawa ng program. gusto ko ding magcocompute ng mga tank diameter, pipe length, amount of heat, required surface area for heat transfer, rate of accumulation, mass balance. dun ako masaya. dun ako comfortable. hindi kaya, nasa uncomfy zone na ako at hindi ko pa napapansin?! im really sad. hay, ang hirap din pala pag bigla kang napamuni-muni noh? sana mamanhid na ako. para hindi na ako makareact. haha. drama. gusto ko ng umuwi.

hintayan...

2005-08-12T20:23:00.000+08:00

tinawagan ko si Meann ng mga 610PM, sabi ko sabay na kami uwi ng mga 7PM. oo daw.

7PM mejo may ginawa pa kosa office, mga 720 na ako nakababa sa office ni Meann. Wala sya.

I decided to have my small activity done before we go home. Pero before that I had a small chat with Ms. Liza. Mabilis lang, dumating na si Meann. Sabi nya may kailangan lang syang i-encode. Sabi ko tagalan nya kasi punta pa ako ng materials handler's office.

Walang tao dun, break time ata? Punta akong RM/PM warehouse office, walang tao. Pero may dumating. Sabi nya sa finished goods warehouse yung tinatanong ko.

Sa finished goods warehouse, hindi daw dun yun. Sa materials handler's office daw yun.

Pagdaan ko sa materials handler's office, may tao na. Mejo natagalan ako dun. Kasi naman, ang labo nung PRISM. Tas nakita ako ni Meann, uwi na daw kami. Sabi ko hanap muna sya ng gagawin. Sabi nya, sige may i-e-encode lang sya.

Pagbalik ko sa office ni Meann, di pa sya tapos. Sandali lang daw. Kaya, eto, nag-blog na lang ako. Tas nang matapos si Meann, di pa ko tapos dito. Kaya naging draft na lang ito..... at ngayon ko lang maipo-post.

LAMOK?

2005-08-12T14:27:00.000+08:00

Ang sakit ng tuhod ko, nirarayuma na ata ako...

Grabe, wala na naman akong magawa. Kasi nmn, yung mga data na kailangan ko, hindi pa kayang maibigay ngayon. Madami pa kasi silang ginagawa. Hay... I can't blame them. Ganito talaga ang worklife dito. Sobrang daming kailangang gawin talaga... Di nila kasalanan na bigla silang magkasakit sa oras na kailangan ko sila. Kasi naman, napaka-unhealthy ng lifestyle dito. Pati nga yung gym namin, wala ng umaga. To maximize resources daw. Sige.

Ano ba naman ako?! Mejo umaandar nanaman pagiging isip bata ko...

Ina-update ko na yung data ko. In fairness, ang gulo pala nya. Mejo hindi ko na rin maalala yung mga comments na pinaggagagawa ko.

Kaasar, yung Sugo Sec, akala ko pa naman, sobrang jackpot na ko sa amount ng unreported sugar nya. But no! 1 ton lang. Sherks... =(

Tas si sir, di nya ma-gets yung point ko na yung incoming deliveries eh physically not present namang dumating dito. So nagbabayad kami ng mga weights na hindi naman talaga dumarating. Pero weird nga yun ha, kasi, okey naman daw yung truck scale. Eh, pano yun?! San napunta yung mga timbang? Eh, jan lang nmn sa tapat yun ng warehouse nagpa-park... Duh?!?! Ayoko namang magtanong kay sir, kasi, matatabla ako nun. Talagang hindi ko matanggap yung argument nya. Eh, hindi naman ako mahilig makipagtalo noh?! Kung ayaw mo maniwala, e di wag ka! Pakialam ko sayo! hehe =) ang taray. Eh kasi di ba, pointless naman na mapagod akong ka-e-explain sayo, tas wala ka naman palang balak na tanggapin explanation ko. di ba? Sayang oras. Pero baka pagnabasa ito ni sir, sapakin ako nun! hehe =) Hindi, this has nothing to do with anyone in particular. Personality ko na kasi ito. And guess who kung kanino ako nagpa-consult?! wahaha!!! In fairness, nag-agree sya sakin, kaya, bati na kami! =) nyahaha!!! =)

Pagod na ko. Gusto ko na matulog. Grabe, wala pang sweldo. Tinatamad na kong magwork ngayon. Wala officemate ko. Nasa CIFA. Sakit ng likod ko. Kagabi kasi, nagbalat ako ng curds eh. Tinatanggal sa carton. Grabe ang tibay pala nung carton nun. Sakit talaga ng mga daliri ko kagabi eh. Hindi na ko makapag-type eh. Hay, nagpapatay na ko ng oras. Kasi, gusto ko ng umuwi.

Kanina sa canteen, sumakit tiyan ko. Parang may lamok sa tiyan ko ngayon na naiisip ko yun. Grabe ang lamig sa office ko. Ako lang kasi tao ngayon dito sa buong production office. Wala yung mga OJTs, di ko alam san sila nagpunta. Hay... tinatamad na talaga ako!

The Oatmeal Brownie

2005-08-11T14:22:00.000+08:00

Rating: **
Oatmeal na ginawang kakulay ng brownies, sobrang oily at may malalaking chocolate chips. Mabibili sa KFCanteen for 20php. Sa sobrang gutom ko kanina, hindi ko na nalasahan kanina.

Morning merienda, Goldilocks Marble slice. Actually di ko pa nakakain. Galing sa aking master. Tinawag ko ngang "tira-tira lang nya", nagalit ata.

For lunch, haha, nakalibre ako. 2nd to the last day na kasi nina Lala [OJT ng CI] and Michelle [OJT ng Logistics]. Tojo okey talaga dun! Pancit canton, spicy squid, pata ["hindi ko pata yan ha!..." - master], fried chicken, chorizo rice, yangchow[?] rice, almond lychee juice, pork asado [?akala ko chicken yun...] Um, di ko alam if may nalimutan ako.

For later, di ko pa alam, magtatrabaho muna ako.... =)

The Choco Walnut Brownie

2005-08-10T10:26:00.000+08:00

Rating: ****
A chewy brownie of rich chocolate with oatmeal and walnut.
Available in the KFCanteen. For only 20php.
Sobrrrraaaang sarap! hehe =)

Hay, ang sakit lang ng paa ko. Tas mejo ang aga-aga pa lang, pagod na ko. Not enough vitamins. Pero I won't let myself feel so down. [Though napa-paranoid na ata ako, kasi feeling ko galit Angel ko sakin, di nya ko nireply-an kagabi... Tas kanina, di nya ko binati... sherks...]

Nagpa-plano sina Walter ng get-together. I really don't know, pero, I don't feel like going. Ang sama ko, sana hindi nila to mabasa, hehe =) Kasi naman, birthday ko na yun kinabukasan. Tas, buong week ako madaming gagawin, hindi na nga kami nagkikita ng nanay ko eh. Kaya bonding day namin yung Sunday. Pero gusto ko talaga sila makita. May konting hesitation lang ako. Mejo ayoko kasi makita si Walter. Mahirap na... hehe =)

and here i am ....

2005-08-05T17:47:00.000+08:00

sa MBD, with the tulo-tulo ng ulan! grabe, ang saklap ng office nina jing, umuulan dito!!!!

eto ako ngayon, nagtatago kay sir. kasi naman, ayoko muna syang maka-interact, kasi, natatakot na ako sa kanya. as in sobra....

i have seen the other side of him. and it is not really nice. sobrang nakakatakot! now im not wonderin why wala pa syang sariling family. kasi, nakakatakot sya! ewan ko ba, parang hindi ko lang talaga naisip na ganun sya nakakatakot... eh, ma-friendly naman sya eh. yun nga lang pagnag-start na ng serious talks, or when he's really mad or something, sherks, nakakatakot.

honestly, before ako maka-strike two sa kanya, or even strike one, ayoko ng umalis dito eh. kuntento na ko to work under him. kaso ayun nga... fear. naunahan na ko ng fear sa kanya. at parang hindi ko na maibalik yung dati kong pagtingin sa kanya as my friend. tama ka ruby, he's still my boss. no matter how close we are, he is still the boss. and boss he definitely is.

nakakalungkot lang na, sobrang love na love ko na syang boss... pero ngayon, di ko na alam. ngayon, nagdadalawang isip na kong kausapin sya, magpaconsult sa kanya, makita sya. kahit nga tawagan na lang sa phone eh, kinakabahan pa ko. grabe no? ang lala ko...

STRIKE TWO!!

2005-08-04T19:18:00.000+08:00

grabe, strike 2 na ko sa boss ko. naiiyak na ko... all i want is to be the best cadet for him. wala akong ibang naiisip ngayon kundi kung pano ko mapapabilis yung analysis ng project ko, namin. i cant afford to waste time, sitting around, doing nothing related to my project.

kanina, we were supposed to discuss at 5pm the next step for my project. but when i went to his office, he was not there. so i waited for a couple of minutes, nakipagchikahan sa mga tao dun. pero i can feel the guilt na nakaupo lang ako dun, walang ginagawa at nakikipagkwentuhan lang! gusto ko, may ginagawa ako lagi, ayokong nakaupo lang ako dun. so i left.

tas, tinext ko sya kung nasan na sya. since, hindi sya nakareply agad, i assumed na nasa meeting sya or something na hindi nya makuhang makareply. kaya i went to QMD for my little experiment. after that, i went back to his office, hoping he'll be there already.

but he's mad at me. he asked me why i did not even bother to wait for him when i know that we have a scheduled discussion. he told me that he was just caught up in an emergency meeting somewhere. we proceeded with the discussion. minus the jokes. minus the fun. minus the friendliness. it was a horrible experience. i just wanted to cry. i cant stand the coldness. i just know he hates me. ang sakit.

kasi, all i want is to make him proud of me. tas magagalit pa pala sya sakin. gusto ko laging productive. always working. pero pointless to explain myself. what i did was professionally wrong. i know i shouldnt have left. mali talaga ako. natatakot na ako sa kanya.

pano kaya ako uuwi ngayon, namamaga na ang mata ko... nafu-frustrate ako na hindi ko ma-meet yung mga requirements ni sir... ang stupid ko talaga!

the TEMPEST is over....

2005-08-03T18:10:00.000+08:00

sobrrrraaaaannnnngggggg agitated ko kanina!!!! kasi nmn, presentation ko sa management. sherks talaga, kinabahan ako! i thank God sa bago kong boss na sobrang supportive! alam mo yung kapag nagstammer na ko for answer, titingin lang ako sa kanya. and when i saw him nod his head, i know im on the right track.

sobrang madaming questions, nakakataranta! pero i feel safe na nanjan si sir. hay grabe, pag hindi ko masagot yung tanong, bigla na lang syang to the rescue! yeah! [i know TP would love to hear me say that, too bad, mukhang hindi sya nakakapag-internet na often! wahahaha!!!!]

basta, sobranng thankful ako na nandun si sir to support me. hehe =)

Level 4: People Development [for lack of better title]

2005-08-03T14:12:00.000+08:00

ngayon, katatapos ko lang ng presentation ko. nasubmit ko na, kaya nagba-blog na ko. kinakabahan lang ako, kasi, nasa kabilang room lang boss ko [na bago at yung luma din]. may staff meeting sila. baka, tamaan ng kalokohan yun, bigla akong pagpresent-tin! hello?! garci! kinakabahan ako noh.... saka hindi pa ko ready magpresent, hindi pa nga kami nakakapag-usap about the presentation eh.

kanina, nagproductivity session kami ni jing. parang ewan yun, naghahanap ng work, tas hindi naman nag-aapply. gunggungers!

kanina, maaga kami naglunch. weird, ang bilis ko magutom recently. baka tumaba ako lalo, e hindi na ako nakakapaggym! kaya lang ang isa pang weird, sira lagi ang tiyan ko. as in. sobrang wasak!

kanina, on my way to work, nagstart na ko magbasa ng Developing the Leader Within You [by John C. Maxwell]. Pagdating ko sa page9, "How do you spot a leader?... they come in all sizes, ages, shapes, and condition..." natawa talaga ako eh! sizes and shape... wahahaha!!!!! i definitely agree. pinag-iisip ako ng book na ito ha, in fairness. pero dito ko naconfirm mga iniisip ko about pimp. i think level 1 lang sya.

kagabi, late na ko nakauwi, 9pm na ko umalis ng office. grabe... pero hindi ko pa rin natapos yung presentation ko.

kagabi, tinawagan ako ni kit. may work na pala sya! sa BFAD. pero malungkot sya. kasi bukod sa low pay daw, ang layo! malayo pa sakin. sa alabang. e hello?! lamang lang ako ng isang barangay sa kanila. wawa naman bestfriend ko... e kasi kasabay daw na tumawag ng BFAD unilab. kaya lang yung sa BFAD, start na sya. yung unilab, interview pa lang. kaya ayun, hindi sya masaya.

kagabi, nagkausap din kami nung isang friend ko. sabi nya, wag daw ako nagpapagabi sa work. alagaan ko daw sarili ko. ang bait talaga nun! tas nakita nya yung title nung song na pinakikinggan ko, forget myself, sabi nya, wag mong gagawin yan ok? though weird talaga sya mag-express ng concern nya, at minsan, nakatatakot ako talaga sa kanya, i know mabait syang tao. yun nga lang, minsan, bossy.

kahapon, weirdo, nanlibre yung isang prodsup. labo, ayaw nya sabihin bakit sya nagcecelebrate...

the weekend that was....

2005-08-01T14:11:00.000+08:00

-----Saturday-----

Dapat lalabas kami nina Kit. Bibili kami ng walang kamatayang gift ng barkada sa mga board passer: Parker pen, with engraved name ng board passer. Naimbento namin yun nung pumasa si Eijude at nag-top 5 sa board. Kaya lang, busy-busy-han ang lahat, kaya hindi kami natuloy. Si Loriat, may exam ata, tas may tutorials pa. Si Eijude, may team building. Nung first team building di sya nakasama kasi birthday ng mommy nya. Si Hannah, as always, hindi nagrereply. Si Kit, ewan ko bakit di sya pwede, basta, nagtampo na ko. Kami ni Ruby lang ang nagconfirm. Kaya, napagpasyahan ko na pumasok na lang sa work. Bad trip talaga, akala ko pa naman magmimeet kami, eh, namimiss ko na sila.... Ang tagal ng hindi kami nakukumpletong group. Hay, it must be the age... habang tumatanda, lalong lumiliit yung chance na magkakita-kita kami. Dami na kasing dapat asikasuhin eh, dami ng responsibilities. Di gaya dati, konting aral, bahay, barkada, kain, tas paulet-ulet lang. Eh ngayon...

Pagdating ko sa work, napilitan talaga akong magpa-consult ng project. Though I know na dapat nung Friday pa kami nakapag-usap, gusto ko sana sa Monday na lang. But since I pumasok na rin lang ako, para matapos na, ayun, nasabon ako! Hay...

What was so significant sa Saturday na ito? I met another new friend. Weird kasi, hindi naman kami talaga close, well, I don't consider us close. Close enough for him to tell me personal stuffs about himself. O sadyang open lang sya sa mga bagay na ganun. Basta ako, hindi ko kayang sabihin sa isang bagong kakilala yung mga sinabi nya. Ang labo talaga.... Mukha ba akong mapagkakatiwalaan? Although, nakaka-flatter na sinabi nya yun sakin, sobrang dinamdam ko talaga yung experiences nya. O. A. pa naman ako magreact. Muntik na ko umiyak sa kinukwento nya. Buti na lang, di nya napansin. It was just so sad to get to know someone whom you would want to become someday, only to find out, he himself is not happy with the way his life turned out. I believe that he just got everything I would want to have someday. Pero hindi daw sya masaya. He felt empty.

Sabi nya sakin mag-unwind daw ako. He advised me to take some rest. Syempre ginagawa ko naman talaga yun every weekend noh! Nanuod kami ng mamita ko ng sine, Stealth. Visually satisfying!!! Yeah! Very interesting how EDI felt the guilt-feeling. Sana nga, tamaan ng kidlat na lang yung mga taong manhid, para naman makaramdam na sila di ba? Yun lang pala ang kailangan eh... hehe =) Galing nung movie, kahit fictional.

-----Sunday-----

Ang aga-aga, tinext ko si Marose kung kaya nyang makapagbigay ng upper at lower limit dun sa mga data points ko for soya oil flowmeter. Hehe =) Di ko alam, bangag na bangag na pala yun, kasi hindi pa sya natutulog!

Dapat magpapadentist ako, sked ko ng permanent pasta kahapon, kaso, tinamad ako. Nasimulan ko na kasi magbasa ng newspaper. Eh, interesting na binabasa ko eh. Biruin mo, sobrang kamalasan nung bangkay na nakaburol, patay na nga, natamaan pa ng ligaw na bala! Shocker di ba?

Buong Sunday, bahay lang ako. Tas nagsimba kami ni mamita nung late afternoon. This Sunday, parang yung dalawang friend ko ang naisip ko ah, kasi, yung isa, nagpuntang Baguio, yung isa, nagpuntang Japan. Kaka-miss lang yung everyday presence nila sa buhay ko. Pero kahit na wala na sila, at least I know, they are happy with their life, and so I still feel happy and COMPLETE.

WAIT AND BLEED

2005-07-29T14:54:00.000+08:00

I've heard some big news today. Grabe. Ang masasabi ko lang, change is the only thing constant in this world.

- nagbabago ang opinyon ng mga tao

- nagbabago ang pangarap ng mga tao

- nagbabago ang posisyon ng isang tao, pwedeng tumaas, pwedeng bumaba

- nagbabago ang responsibilidad ng isang tao, pwedeng lumawak, pwedeng kumitid

- nagbabago ang katauhan ng isang tao at kasabay nito, kailangang sumabay sa pagbabago niya ang mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya. Kaya minsan nag-aaway ang dalawang tao, dahil hindi naging tugma ang nangyaring pagbabago sa kanilang katauhan. Maaaring 100% ang pagbabago nung isa pero yung isa e 99.99% lang.

Ang kinalulungkot ko ngayon, yung isang taong importante sakin, nagbago sya ng opinyon, ng belief. Sabi sa Unleash, pag nagbago ang iyong belief, nagbabago ang iyong decisions, ang iyong pagkatao at ang iyong buhay. Hindi ko masabayan ang pagbabago ng isip nya. Kaya nananahimik na lang ako dito. I'll just wait and bleed... [thanks Dadi sa cd, the best itong collection na ito!]

Material Usage Variance

2005-07-26T16:59:00.000+08:00

That's my new project. Sana nga forever na yan eh...

So far, I'm doing just fine. May mga periods na as much as 86% ay accounted na kung saan-saan napunta yung variance. Nakakatuwa di ba?! Pero yung iba periods, nasa mga 30% [average] yung accounted pa lang. Yung sa sugar variance, umaasa akong malaki maidadagdag ng In-Line Adjustments from QC. Sana malaki matapyas nya sa variance.

Kapagod din pala ang tumitig sa PC buong araw! Sherks, sakit na ng mata ko. Bad trip lang ngayong hapon, yung kinarir ko na pwede sanang pagkunan ng losses, [yung problem sa flow meter], and bad trip ng result! It's either mga less than 10% [~7%] o di kaya naman ay sobrang mas malaki pa sa sinabing variance! O san ka pa?! Asar. Sumakit likod ko sa kakaupo dito, tas halos wala palang kwenta yung ginawa ko. Asar. O baka naman may mali lang akong nagawa? Hindi kaya? Kasi naman si sir, ang tagal tagal ng meeting, kailangan ko magpa-consult sa kanya!

Sana lang talaga, yung in-line adjustments malaki ang maitulong sakin. Tas ano pa bang pwedeng source of loss? .... Wala na talaga akong maisip, ... paper variance? Hello?! Garci?! Hindi ko nga yun alam eh, noh?! Ano ha?! Kailangan ko pa ba gumawa ng presentation? Sabi nya dati ipe-present ko daw yun eh. Baka stir lang yun... di nga?

Kawawa naman ako, kinakausap ko na sarili ko. Asar kasi mga tao dito, inaasar nila ko. ang kukulet! Pero hanggang Thursday na lang yung isa dito. Pupunta na syang Baguio. Yung isa, well, mas matagal pa ata yung mag-stay dito kesa sakin eh.. hehe =)

Pagod na talaga ako. Gusto ko na umuwi. Pero hindi pa binibigay nila yung pinapa-encode ko. Hay, late nanaman ako makakauwi...

Sana sa Saturday matuloy kami nina Kit. Naku naman, kidos talaga kami. Hindi matuloy-tuloy sa mga lakad. Pero wag ka, pag si Ruby ang kasama ko, ubusang pera kami. Ewan ko ba?!!? Pero I sure am having fun pag naglilibot kami sa mall. [kahit sa SM lang...]

*****

2005-07-23T17:12:00.000+08:00

Nag-iisip ako ng title para sa post na ito. Hindi kasi ako makapagdecide kung pano ko sisimulan ang post na ito.

2 days ago, nag-attend kami ng seminar, "Unleash Your Highest Potential in Life". I had so much fun! Grabe! At in fairness, eye opener yung seminar na yun. Marami akong natutunan na para bang alam ko rin nmn all this time, pero I refuse to be conscious of the idea because it will somewhat push me out of my comfort zone.

Kahapon, galing ako sa Operations Mid-year Review. Funny nung nag-groupings na per department, hindi ko alam kung kaninong department ako sasama. Tas napatingin ako kay sir, eh nakita nya rin ako, pero di na ko ulet tumingin, kasi nakita kong kinakawayan nya ko para pumunta sa group nya. Eh, nahihiya ako sa kanya eh. Kasi, hindi pa plantsado yung project ko sa kanya. Kaso, tinawag na nya ko, so no choice!

Actually, nung morning before I even reach Trader's Hotel, tumaba ang puso ko. I had found a new "kuya" in my life. Nisundo nya ko sa Caltex station sa Boni. In the car, he gave me advises about my career. He shared his own experience when he was at my age and made me realize that I'm indeed lucky to be in my current position, despite all that is happening in my worklife. He told me that I am very lucky that I am re-assigned to a new boss, whom, he said, is a very good boss.

"Ang swerte mo na si ---- na ang boss mo. Magaling yun! At alam mo ba na gustong-gusto ka nya. Bilib na bilib yun sayo..."

Oh my God! Ang tibok ng puso ko when I heard that! Muntik na ko maiyak sa tuwa na malamang natutuwa sakin ang boss ko, at nagtitiwala sya sa abilidad ko. How I have longed for that kind of appreciation from my boss. I felt great when i heard that! Parang gusto kong pumasok na ulet sa work at wag ng mag-attend ng meeting para matapos ko na agad yung project ko sa kanya.

During my boss' presentation, he made me feel good again.

"...that's why we are lucky to now have Kelly with us in this project..."

He just made me feel wanted. Sobrang saya ko talaga kagabi. Sobra. Para bang nalimutan ko ang mga anxieties ko about staying here in the company. Para bang ayoko ng umalis dito dahil sa kanya. Sana sya na lang ang boss ko lagi. I am so much willing to do anything for him. Sobrang ginagalang ko sya. Ang taas ng tingin ko sa kanya. It has been a long time since somebody inspired me to give all my best in what I do. He inspired me. And yes, he is my master, indeed. And I will be the worthy apprentice.

- - - Missed Opportunity - - -

2005-07-20T20:21:00.000+08:00

It's kinda sad, before I joined this company, [do I need to say the name?, eh, basta!], it's been my burning desire to be part of the paper industry. Ewan ko ba, bat adik na adik ako sa mga pagawaan ng papel!

Sa ganon kasi ako nag-OJT. Wala talagang matinong sistemang ready talaga for OJTs dun sa company na yun, pero they are kind enough to accommodate me sa company nila. Routinary yung work ko dun, testing ng waste water [grabe! sobrang baho talaga! Pero, sanayan lang pala yun... hehe] samples from different streams. Adventure sakin yung pag-collect ng water samples. Minsan, kailangan kong magsususuot sa mga masisikip na daanan, i-endure yung sobrang malakas ng ingay [naku, napaka-unsafe nung lugar na yun Jingbawang!] dahil wala kaming earplugs. Minsan yung dadaan to get the sample, sobrang madilim, tas meron pang puddle of brown yucky stuffs sa floor [papel lang yun na wet at gagawin pa lang corrugating medium...], tas maingay na sobra and sobrang mataas yung kuhaan ng sample na kailangan kong dumukwang and all wa poise! tas yung act of pagkuha ng sample, tipong tatalsik pa sayo yung water kasi, high velocity yung stream tas pag nisalo mo ng container, syempre tatalsikan ka nun di ba? Tas merong biglang dadaang paniki! Sherks! Grabe, katakot talaga yung experience na yun!

Pero I have grown to love the work, the place, the company [though kuripot sila magpasweldo sa mga employees nila], the industry. Para bang it runs in the family na sa paper mills nagwowork. Basta, yun... Kaya when I graduated, gusto ko sana sa TIPCO magwork. Nung nagplant visit kami dun, yoko na ngang umalis eh!

But shempers, things went this way. Dito ko ngayon sa current job ko. Masaya nmn ako dito, kaya lang nga shempre, di ka nmn talaga pwede maging totally happy sa lahat ng bagay di ba? Walang perfect company. Kasi pag naging perfect na ang lahat for you, magiging uncompetitive ka na, kontento ka na sa kung anong meron ka. Ayaw mo na umalis sa comfort zone mo.

Ang bad trip lang sakin, I have an interview ngayong araw na ito. Sa isang paper company. I love that company since I was I kid. Kasi dun sa plantang yun nagwork ang mga half-brods ko. Nalipat-lipat sa iba't-ibang owners, pero the plant itself, nandun pa rin. I love the position, Process Engineer! Best of all, ang lapit sa bahay. Siguro mga 20php lang ang pamasahe ko to get there and back. One ride away form me lang eh. Yun nga lang, traffic yung area na yun, pero manageable nmn. So ayun, hindi ako nakapunta. I tried calling the number that called me. Pero, fax tone ang naririnig ko! Nakakaiyak. Sana tawagan pa nila ako. Baka sa Monday, pumunta ako dun.

Ok na malapit, kahit siguro shifting eh. Kasi, gusto ko mag-Master ng Materials Engineering. Ewan ko ba, parang napapanaginipan ko mga molecules na nagrere-arrange. Lakas ng influence sakin ni Doc Jonats eh. Mahal na mahal ko yung elective ko sa kanya, Polymers! =) Grabe, inaaral ko talaga yun, kinarir ko talaga. At base sa aking transcript, with flying kulays nmn ang grade ko kay sir! hehe =) So, ok na lahat di ba? Kaso, gunggungers ako eh! Hindi ako nagpunta. Wala akong kwenta.

Light and Shade

2005-07-19T20:13:00.000+08:00

He will pain the light and shades
The colours and the trees
He will climb the steepest hill
Believing what he sees
He will lay down on the ground
Beneath the old oak tree
He will sleep forever
If you try to set him free

Chorus
Sail on the wings of a cloud
Where to, well nobody knows
And cry, cry if you want them to see
Die every day to be free
Be proud to wear the colours that you call your own
Be loud, speak out when the world to know
Be strong, hold the flame for everyone to see
Be weak, if you want to love.

He will paint the endless sea.
A mystery to me
He will reach out for the sun,
Not dreaming what he sees
He will fall down on his knees
Angel touching ground
Takes him to the other side
Sweet love is coming down.

Repeat chorus

Very tiring day, ewan ko ba, late na nga ako pumasok, pero well, dito pa kong office! =(
8:16PM na! shocks...
Kala nila Jing kung san ako galing, ayaw nila maniwalang galing talaga ako sa dentist. Kasi nmn, ang sakit ng ipin ko. Yung gagi na lady dentist na yun [hello kit. wag ka na dun magpaayos ng braces mo noh!] sobrang galing, hindi nya sinabing temporary lang yun, kala ko permanent na yun. Kaya nmn, hindi na muna ko bumalik. Takot kasi ako magpapasta! Eh kagabi, sabi ng ninong Boy ko, sya dentist ko, yung acid daw nung temporary pasta combined with my saliva caused my toothache. Syempre explain-explain pa ninong ko, di na komasyado nakikinig. Kasi antok na antok na ko. Nakakahiya nga eh, kasi, gabing-gabi na ko nakauwi, tas kumain muna ko, then saka ko pumunta sa kanila, e di gabing-gabi na nga yun di ba? Bad trip ngayon, mejo kumikirot ulet sya, e sabi ni ninong, pag kumirot, ibalik ko daw agad, papalitan nya ng bagong gamot. Pag kumirot pa ulet, wala na syang magagawa kundi bunutin. Or if I can afford daw ipa-root canal na lang. No ba nmn yun! Bad trip! Nagtu-toothbrush nmn ako ah!

Dami ko pang dapat gawin, pero nag-stop ng umandar utak ko. Gusto ko na lang mag-sound trip... Bee girl, pahiram ng original cds mo?! =) Yung Kitchie Nadal na pirated, for the nth time ko ng pinakikinggan, same goes with the other 8 cds here sa office na parang since my dust-y life began eh nandito na. Grabe, sana, magkaron ng bagong cd dito! Dadi, magdala ka na sana!

Natutuwa ako kaninang doggie-doggie ako online, may nahanap akong MP3 ng light and shade!!! Nakakatuwa! Shempre, ni-save ko na! =) Wala lang, favorite ko lang talaga yang kantang yan! =)

2nd to the last song ni Kitchie, Bulong, after ng matapos nito, uuwi na ko.

Natapos na naman ang isang araw.

Parang masama pakiramdam ko.

Absent kaya ako bukas?

5S+ Audit Results

2005-07-15T15:08:00.000+08:00

My gulay! Anong kababalaghan ito?!
kailangang tumigil ng ilang minuto para pagmuni-munihan ang result ng audit na ito...
Hmmm.. to my fellow dust, I guess naiintindihan nyo ang ibig kong sabihin.... pano nangyari to?!
Kalilinis lang kasi namin ni Droz and Jing nung (ex) cadet's office, tas ngayong araw na ito, lumabas ang result ng 5S+ audit... sherks, 2nd placer ang Production Office?!?!??!
Huh?!?!!? Ibig sabihin ba nun, blocker dati ang office ng cadets? Grabe nmn...
Kakaiyak... kung sabagay, magulo nga dati yun office. As in. Pero ngayon I'm proud to say na na-me-maintain ang pagka-5S nya. Kasi nmn, mga 90% of the time, ako lang ang nandito. nakakatawa lang talaga na naging ganito yung result =)
Pero syempre I'm happy for our office.... =)
Kahit parang weird yung naging result...

ChE 190 Sual Adventure 2004!!!

2005-07-12T14:04:00.000+08:00

Funny, sobrang ngayon ko lang na-open ng matiwasay yung pix na sinend ni Guia [hi girl!] dating-dati pa! [21January2004]
Sobrang dating-dati ko pa gusto i-open ito at hindi ko talaga mabuksan ng maayos!
So eto, ni-post ko lang... hehe =)
Ala, naalala ko lang mga adventures namin nung ChE190.
Saya! =)

cutie baby!!!

2005-07-09T16:44:00.000+08:00

hindi ko talaga mapigilan, kailangan ko talagang i-post itong picture ng batang ito!
gusto ko syang kainin!!!!
ang cute-cute nya!!!!
hay... nakakagutom!
toochax ka TP! hindi ka dumating! yung utang mong Mc Do sakin ha?!
grabe, antok na ko.... buti na lang productive day! =)
hay, wala pa ring emoticons! bad trip, ayaw ma-install! hay...
ok, in 15mins, uuwi na ko.
nagdaldalan pa kasi kami ni sis eh [si mam malou...]
syempre, chika-chika sa mga bagay-bagay na secret! hehe =)

mother and son

2005-07-08T17:23:00.001+08:00

eto ang aking anak, si tp.
ewan ko ba kung pano ko yan naluwal....
yuck... yokong isipin...
nag-iisip pa ko ng susulat ko dito...
hanap daw kami ni droz ng lyrics nung
"...uwi ka na beybi..."???? huh?
si droz, walang magawa sa ofc ngayon,
nakasilip sa taas ng wall between our office and the ojt's [yeah, meron silang office...]
tas natapakan nya si jen sa likod!
wawa nmn ang dinosaur! hehe =)
no ba yan, nagpapaturo si jen maglagay ng picture sa blog,
tas hindi nakikinig, kasi kausap nya si bei.
labo.
gusto ko sana pumunta later for ms. maya eh.
kaya lang, ma-sho-short ako sa budget.
eh, 200php din yun! grabe... sakit na nun sa bulsa.
naririnig ko si meann,
ibig nya yatang sirain ang xerox machine namin,
kasi hindi ata nagwowork. ayan! hinampas na nya! grabe!
[peace tayo meann, =) baka kasi bigla kang nagka-time para magbasa ng blog, hehe =) ]
sherks, ano ba nmng sounds yun? opera ba yung sounds ng mga ojt? damn! addict!
pano kaya ako matututo ng mga ka-eklatan sa blog? yung parang kay carolina?
hmmm.... nagpapatimpla akong coffee kay dadi droz, wala nmn palang tubig!
wala kasi si ms. edna, ayan tuloy, tigang, na kami dito!
9 minutes na lang, uwian na...
o, mukhang mag-aaway pa ata sina jen at bei???
no ba yan, nang-i-eavesdrop na ko nito... parang ms. brille.
si ms. brille kasi, eavesdropper yun eh.
lahat ng mga katabi nya sa park, pinakikinggan nya yung stories nila.
kaya, alam nya yung mga buhay-buhay nila.
gawain siguro yun ng mga matatanda? hehe =)
yoko na... "...uwi ka na beybi..."

the seven dusts

2005-07-08T06:47:00.000+08:00

stardust with the fellow dusts.
pag pinagsamasama ang mga dust, kunwari sa dustpan...
ay ang panget!!!!
kasi diretso yun sa basurahan! db?!
hmmm... kaya pala pinaghiwa-hiwalay ang mga dust.... kaya pala....
well, isa-isahin ko etong mga dust na ito.
sila ang mga co-cadets ko sa work.
si TP, si carol, si ako, si jen, si meann, si jing at si carlo.
meron pang isang dust. kaya lang na-late sya ng dating sa buhay ko.
itong sevendust na ito ang mga kasabay kong nag-grow [nga ba?!] from a naive fresh grad to a dust!!! wahahaha!!!! nakakaiyak.
seryoso, sila yung kasabayan kong nagstart sa tinatawag ng mga matatandang "worklife" or "career life"... ewan, basta trabaho.
nung mga first few days sa work, syemprers may mga first impression ako sa bawat isa sa kanila. hehe =)
kwento ko ba? later in life... kasi nmn, wala na akong nagawang trabaho ngayon. hindi kasing productive na gaya ng gusto ko mangyari. hay... work...

creating this blog

2005-07-08T02:40:00.000+08:00

hmmm... sa halip na nagwowork ako ngayon, gumagawa ako nitong blog na ito.
pag nalaman ito ng master ko, lagot ako.
dapat ba nagkukwento ako dito?
may sasagot ba sa tanong ko?
gusto ko kayang mabasa ng iba yung iniisip ko?
hehe =)
wag na... baka maidemanda pa ako ng iba't ibang kaso.
so anong ilalagay ko dito?
yung mga nangyari sa araw na ito?
ginagamit itong blog na online diary di ba?
hmmm... napapaisip tuloy ako ng ilalagay dito.
let me see, ano ba nangyari sa araw na ito..........
mamaya nalang siguro ako magkwento. maglulunch na eh.
teka, wala bang emoticons dito?
gusto ko meron! ano ba nmn yan...?
di k talaga alam anong gagawin sa blog na ito....
carolina, turuan mo ko pano ayusin ito ha? pa-eklaten naten? ha?
sige, 14mins na lang, lunch na.
babalik muna ko sa work ko.....